Advice for expecting dads usually boils down to generic lists about buying nappies, but becoming a dad is the single biggest shift in your life.
It stops being just about you and your wife, and suddenly you have to figure out what kind of father you actually want to be.
Looking back ten months on, here are the real, practical things you need to sort out before your little person arrives.
1. Read the Books
Don’t just brush this off thinking you’ll “figure it out on the day.”
Reading a couple of decent guides gives you an essential roadmap for what your wife’s body is going through and what’s coming next.
- The Pregnancy Guide For Men by John Nero: My wife got me this during pregnancy. It breaks down the logistics without the fluff.
- The Dad Pad: A mate at work who had a baby six months before me passed this over. Read it. You’ll actually understand what’s going on behind the scenes.
2. Get Things Ready (And Use Your Weekend Energy Now)
Look, I know some weekends you’re tired and can’t be bothered doing house jobs.
Well, let me tell you, that feeling is nothing compared to how knackered you’ll be when the baby arrives.
A lazy weekend now is a luxury.
- Use your energy today: Buy the pram, sort out the nursery, build the flat-pack furniture, set up the highchair.
- Don’t take it all on yourself: Mammy will definitely want input and probably has a whole plan in her head already. My wife certainly did! Work as a team, but do the heavy lifting while you still have full nights of sleep.
3. Reevaluate Yourself (Move with the Times, Man!)
When you think about your own parents, who are they to you?
Now ask yourself: How do you want your baby to view you?
Do you want to be the lazy dad who can’t run around after her because you’re out of shape?
Do you want to be the cuddly dad who reads her bedtime stories every night? Or the dad who’s always away at work?
Now is the time to put changes into action:
- Alcohol: I near enough stopped drinking alcohol. I’m not total tee-total—I’ll still have one or two—but I scaled right back.
- Takeaways: Same with takeaways. I didn’t want my daughter putting that stuff in her body every week, or seeing me eat like that and thinking it’s normal to have 2–3 takeaways a week. Make the change now.
4. Set Family & Social Media Privacy Boundaries
This is a massive conversation you need to have with your wife long before labor starts.
What are your boundaries around privacy and social media?
- Visitors & Leave Expectations: What is she expecting during pregnancy and paternity leave? Who can visit first, and when? Give yourselves way more time than you think you need, you’ll be lucky if you manage to get out of the house in week one.
- The Social Media Rules: Will you or your extended family post pictures of your kid on Facebook or Instagram? Is Mam comfortable with announcement posts? You don’t need to justify your privacy choices to anyone. Set the rules early, tell the grandparents and extended family, and make sure everyone respects your boundaries.
5. Stock Up on Batch Meals
You cannot live off takeaways and handouts from your parents for the first month.
I mentioned this in my paternity leave guide, but batch cooking is your ultimate secret weapon.
- Prep freezer meals now: Make big batches of chili, bolognese, and pies that you can chuck in the freezer.
- The Takeaway Box Hack: Save those foil or plastic takeaway boxes with the white lids. Fill them with your homemade meals and write the date and contents on the lid so you can just grab, thaw, and microwave when you’re too exhausted to stand.
6. Go to the Appointments (Forget Work)
This is about the building blocks of your family. Start strong.
Work does not matter, your family does.
Do you really want your wife reminding you for the rest of your life that you missed a crucial scan because you had a trivial work meeting?
Go to every scan and appointment.
It supports Mam, and it’s where the bond between you and your baby actually starts.
7. Prepare to Lose All Concept of Time and Space
Sleep now while you still can, because the first month wipes your memory clean.
I was chatting to a lad at work recently about how cold it had turned, saying it was downhill into winter.
He said, “Dan, don’t you remember how warm and mild last November was? I was out playing golf and finished my extension!”
I had zero memory of it.
Then it hit me: our baby was less than a month old last November.
My attention was purely on her and surviving day-to-day.
You will completely lose track of the outside world, and that’s totally fine, but be ready for it.
8. Master Your Paternity Leave
Know the ins and outs of your leave so you can shut off work and forget about it. The sales calls can wait.
If you’ve saved up holiday, block it out for when labor starts.
After my two weeks of statutory paternity leave, I did a “one day in, one day off” pattern for a month using annual leave to ease the transition and support Mam.
9. Get Your Own “Dad Gear” Sorted
Think about what you need for the next three months, because you won’t have time to shop once baby is here.
Need new winter clothes?
Got birthdays or anniversaries coming up that need cards and presents?
Get them squared away now so you aren’t panic-buying on your phone at 3:00 AM during a feed.
To Sum This Advice for Expecting Dads All Up
You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to be present.
Read up, get the house ready, protect your family’s privacy, support Mam at every step, and make the personal changes today that your future self and child will thank you.