How often should grandparents babysit?
First off, it completely depends on your family. If your parents live more than two hours away, regular childcare just isn’t realistic. I can’t tell you what you should do, but I can share what is working for us right now.
For our family, the answer is 2 to 3 times per week. Here is how we set it up, survived the transition, and managed to keep everyone happy.
Dividing Up the Grandparent Days
We’re extremely lucky.
Both sets of parents are still together and live within driving distance:
- My Parents: Live 15 minutes away. My Mam is retired, and my Dad is close to retirement.
- My In-Laws: Live 45 minutes away. My father-in-law is retired, and my mother-in-law is close to retirement.
When we realised were going to need childcare for two days a week, both families jumped at the chance. My parents and In Laws each took a day.
My Dad and my wife’s Mum even though they still work, were jealous of missing out, they arranged to take those specific days off work until the end of the year!
Our Weekly Grandparent Schedule:
• Tuesday: My parents (15 mins away) 10am - 4:30pm
• Thursday: My in-laws (45 mins away) 10am - 4:30pm
• Weekends: We alternate visiting one set of grandparents for a few hours over the weekend.
Building Up to Solo Babysitting
We didn’t just drop baby off on day one and run.
A month or so before my wife started her Keeping in Touch (KIT) days, we started practice runs.
My wife is an only child, I am one of two, so it’s been a good 25 years since they had a young child in their homes.
Grandparents came over once a week for a few hours:
- My wife handled the first nap around 10:00 AM.
- Grandparents took over for the middle of the day.
- I took over after her second nap at 3:15 PM.
For the first few weeks, my wife hung around in the background not wanting to stray too far away, why?
Now that she is mobile and hitting all those 9-month-old milestone behaviours, she keeps everyone on their toes.
The Great Bottle Refusal Nightmare
Our biggest worry was that our daughter refused to take a bottle at this time. She would only breastfeed.
We bought literally every bottle type in the shop. We tried straw cups, free-flow cups, expensive brand-name bottles, cheap supermarket ones, those ones that look like bears. She hated every single one.
The Internet told us: “Stick with one bottle and they will get used to it.” So we tried that. 2 weeks later, still failing. Then we gave up entirely for a few days.
Then one day, my wife tried again. Out of nowhere, baby just decided she could just take a bottle now.
Was it a special magic brand? Nope. Over the next few days, we swapped through all the rejected bottles in the cupboard. She drank from every single one fine. Babies are great like that!
Starting KIT Days & The First Solo Shifts
Around the 9-month mark, my wife’s KIT days kicked in. We used them to subsidise her pay so she received near-enough her full maternity wage.
On her first official day back at work (a Tuesday), I took the day off. It was less about helping my parents and more about emotionally supporting my wife. Leaving the house was tough for her, but she came home buzzing. She loved feeling like an adult again! My parents first day went ok, just a couple of things to iron out.
Thursday was the in-laws’ turn, but things didn’t go to plan. My in-laws had a car crash on the way over.
Thankfully, nobody was hurt! I took an emergency day off work while they sorted the car. They completed their first solo shift a week later. They were nervous and completely knackered by the end of it, but they treated themselves to celebratory Greggs doughnuts on the drive home!
The Verdict: What Works Best?
Right now, 2 to 3 days a week is our sweet spot.
When baby starts nursery in September, our final routine will look like this:
- Monday & Friday: Nursery
- Tuesday & Thursday: Grandparents 10am – 5pm
- Wednesday: Wife taking a reduced-hours day off.
When grandparents started babysitting, baby couldn’t even crawl. Now, a month later, she is zooming across the room and almost walking. She is definitely keeping them on their toes. But having family involved has been incredible for all of us.